THE HABIT OF WINNING
I’m not sure when I bought my first college yearbook but I know I bought it because I was tired of sourcing vintage snapshots one photograph at a time. I thought, “There are a lot of pictures in a yearbook.”
I can be lazy.
Before starting college and taking those first steps towards becoming an adult I thought very little about achievement as it’s defined in our world. I was not an athlete and although I did fine as a student I had no desire to outwardly achieve anything other than what was required of me. In college my perspective started to change and I became more focused on external signifiers of achievement. As things like grades, honors, and race times took on increasing importance, I began to structure my life around them and found that I was very good at the game.
In the beginning this was all well and good but over time the connection between the ‘achievements’ and what I truly wanted became more and more hazy. And repeated experiences of ‘winning’ and then realizing that the glory only gave me a minute’s reprieve before I needed to start making plans for the next one taught me to be wary about what I wished for. So it was much to my surprise that I started making work about winning while in art school.
Isn’t art about the making?
Wasn’t I most concerned about the process?
Well, yes and no.
In a world where athletes ‘retire’ at the top of their game, seemingly because they don’t want to ‘lose’ in public, I am not sure that we will ever move beyond winning as a goal, but sports metaphors are not always a great role model for living a life. As an artist there is a desire to have your work seen and to be understood. The work I made in The Habit of Winning mocks our obsession but also serves as a daily reminder for myself to try and keep this desire in check.